My 5 Year Old Won’t Talk… Why?
Written by: Destiny Anderson, Graduate Student Intern
Tyler is 5 years old and started virtual school last year during the pandemic. Before Tyler began school, he only communicated with his parents, older siblings and grandmother who lives with them. Tyler didn’t have to verbally engage with his classmates, Tyler felt comfortable being at home completing his schoolwork last year.
This year, Tyler’s school district no longer offers virtual learning, so Tyler has to attend classes in person. Once Tyler arrived at school, he had a temper tantrum in his parent’s car. Tyler’s parents escorted him to his classroom, where his new teacher greeted him and Tyler didn’t respond.
After his first week, the teacher called the parents and expressed concern that Tyler is not being sociable or engaging with the class or anyone at school. The teacher continues to explain that Tyler stands alone during recess and won't play, interact with the other students. When the teacher calls on Tyler to participate in class, he’s silent. At times, Tyler might write down his response to provide to the teacher but not often
Tyler's parents were confused about what the teacher was saying. The mother responded when Tyler is home, he’s very active and engages with his siblings, parents, and grandmother. Next, the dad says he had a history with social anxiety when he was younger, so maybe that’s what Tyler is feeling?
Later that evening, Tyler expressed to his parents at home that he no longer wants to go to school in person and if can go back to virtual school. Parents explained that is no longer an option and started to ask questions on why Tyler is not engaging or being sociable at school. Tyler could not explain to his parents why he became silent at school.
Tyler is experiencing “Selective Mutism”
Signs of Selective Mutism:
nervous, uneasy, or socially awkward.
rude, disinterested or sulky.
clingy.
shy and withdrawn.
stiff, tense or poorly coordinated.
stubborn or aggressive, having temper tantrums when they get home from school, or getting angry when questioned by parents
What causes selective mutism:
Social Anxiety
Excessive shyness
Clingy
Temper tantrums
Social embarrassment
Tips for treating of selective mutism
It’s important to remember that your child is not choosing to speak, but they’re too anxious to speak. At Restoring Hope Counseling, we have trained professionals that specialize in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that is mostly supported in treating selective mutism. Our CBT therapist will guide the child in:
Contingency management – positive reinforcement for verbal behavior working from whispering and pointing to verbalizing out loud
Shaping – reinforcement is provided for approximations of the desired behavior
Stimulus fading – gradually increasing the number of people and places in which speech is rewarded
Desensitization – Kids are gradually exposed to anxiety-producing situations in which speech is expected but are given emotional support and guidance with relaxation exercises to help them work through it
Cognitive reframing – kids are taught to identify anxious although patterns and come up with positive alternative thoughts
Social skills – in both groups and in individual work, kids can practice social interaction skills to reduce anticipatory anxiety related to engaging in reciprocal interactions. Examples include slipping in and out of groups, entering a group at play, and using and understanding nonverbal communication (e.g. eye contact, body language.)
Are you and your child struggling? At Restoring Hope Counseling we can help you as you navigate this change in your Childs life.
Restoring Hope Counseling has multiple Therapists on staff with some who are able to take insurance, and some who are interns and provisionally licensed staff, who can provide counseling at a discounted rate. They all provide in Person or Telehealth sessions. Visit our “Meet our Team” page or contact us for further information to help you find the person who is the best fit for you.
