Understanding “Self-” Words Series: Part 1
Self-Worth
Written by Grace Melson
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
Preciousness vs. Performance
You’re at school waiting in the cafeteria line for lunch. Daydreaming as you move forward, you accidentally step on the heel of the person in front of you. They spin around quickly and hiss, “Watch where you’re going fat face. If you push me again, I’ll knock the ugly out of you.” Your face burns with embarrassment and you mumble an apology. After lunch you go to the bathroom and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. The words “ugly” and “fat face” echo through your mind.
Growing up, you probably heard the word “self-esteem” a lot. How many times did your parents, teachers, and school counselors tell you how important it is to have healthy self-esteem? I’m sure you’ve heard many “self“ words: like self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-worth, etc. But what do those words really mean?
Today we’re going to talk about self-worth, how it is different from self-esteem, and what it looks like to have positive self-worth.
Self-worth means you are a valued person and deserve respect. It is the knowledge that you are worthy of being seen, heard, and prized. Your opinions are valid and they matter.
So, while self-worth is about the value that you place on yourself, self-esteem is about performance. Self-esteem is about how you view your capabilities or skill set. It is the belief that you can do things well (high self-esteem) or not well (low self-esteem).
You probably never learned to separate the concept of “self-esteem” from “self-worth”. But it is important to do so. You could be a famous actress with thousands of followers on social media or the owner of a successful business and still not know your worth.
In many ways, we are brought up to connect our worth to our abilities. But it is important to realize that your performance in life does NOT define your value. Things that DO NOT define your self-worth: your job, how you look, how much money you have, your social media following, your age, how fast you can run, your grades.
Self-worth is so important because it plays a part in every decision we make. Positive self-worth helps us build healthy relationships as well as cope when times are difficult. It helps us experience true creativity and joy! Positive self-worth creates a safe place within ourselves, tells us who we really are, and helps us ask for help when we need it.
Self-esteem, however, changes with your circumstance – it ebbs and flows like water. But self-worth is immovable – like the earth. It is the deep-seated knowledge that you are valuable and loveable.
Regardless of how you perform, you are precious.
Stay tuned for the next part of this series on Self-Acceptance!
