“I am worthy. “

Some days I can believe these words to be true, but other times it feels like a relentless battle and an unnecessary headache. Am I worthy? How do I define my worthiness? Is it in the way I look? What I am to do? How others see me? Asking myself these questions has made me realize that I may not fully understand what worthy is, or what it is I am hoping I am worthy of.

Growing up, you probably heard the word “self-esteem” a lot. How many times did your parents, teachers, and school counselors tell you how important it is to have healthy self-esteem? I’m sure you’ve heard many “self“ words: like self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-worth, etc. But what do those words really mean?

The quest to find love has become a little more difficult since the world was impacted by Covid-19 over a year ago. While we are still experiencing some of the restrictions previously put into place to keep everyone safe, it looks like people are slowly getting back to some level of normalcy. It seems like most of my clients I speak to in therapy have been struggling with the issue of restricted means of dating and do not know how to approach the situation they find themselves in. It is easy to experience some anxiety and depression during these times because some people think that there is no hope to find someone to date.

The primary need for individuals in this community is support, this can be provided through many different ways such as financial, emotional, social, and mental support. When individuals come out identifying as LGBTQ+, this can create rifts between them and their family, friends, partners, and others with whom they associate throughout their lives.

The first of June marks a time when we begin to see an influx of rainbows on our Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter as companies switch from their usual minimalist logos to one that shows their expressed allyship for the LGBTQ+ community. That is what they would like us to believe, however, despite what these companies may think or do, simply showing a rainbow is not equivalent to being an ally especially when it is for only one month of the year.

To the world, to your family, to your coworkers, to your friends, you probably look like you are full of confidence, that you have everything together. Your friends and family love you, they think you are amazing. They look up to you and even want to be you at times. They admire many things about you. 

We are stuck, in the routine of the day to day, we are stuck in the constant cycle of work, home, eat, sleep. Currently it is more like, wake up, eat, watch tv, sleep, repeat, (thanks Covid).

But you are incredibly frustrated with this pattern. You are sick to death of being stuck in this pattern of the same old same old, but you don’t do anything new, or make any changes to your life. But you are still frustrated.

As adults we have all of this pressure to be perfect and have it all together. But in reality none of us even know what we are doing.

We are in a constant state of chaos. We are filled with anxiety because of the need to have it all together. As women we suffer from constant self-doubt and worry, which causes us to feel depressed.

As a therapist, I work with all types of people, teens, men, women, and couples, I have discovered there is one main thing we all have in common.

Every single person who exists or has existed at one point or another has one desire that at is at the core of who they are.

It doesn’t matter how they grew up, what they experienced, how privileged they were, what race they are, or what gender.

There is one thing that everyone desires.