Counseling Skills to Use in Everyday Life: Enhancing Communication and Relationships

Written By Guest User

Written By Tiana Elepano, Graduate Student Intern

Ever wished you could navigate those tricky conversations with family, friends, or colleagues with a little more ease and understanding? You don't need a psychology degree to improve your communication and build stronger relationships. Believe it or not, many of the core techniques used by counselors can be incredibly valuable in everyday life.

Think of it like this: counselors are trained to be excellent communicators. They’re masters of listening, understanding, and responding. And guess what? We can all learn to do the same! Let's explore a couple of key counseling skills and how you can integrate them into your daily interactions:

1. Active Listening: More Than Just Hearing

How often do you listen to what someone is saying? Active listening goes far beyond simply hearing the words; it's about truly understanding the speaker's message, both verbal and non-verbal. It involves:

  • Paying Attention: This means putting away distractions (phones, computers, wandering thoughts) and focusing completely on the person speaking. Make eye contact, nod to show you're following along, and avoid interrupting.

  • Showing You're Listening: Use verbal and non-verbal cues to demonstrate your engagement. Phrases like "I see," "That sounds tough," or a simple "uh-huh" can encourage the speaker to continue and feel heard.

  • Reflecting: Sometimes, summarizing what the speaker has said in your own words can ensure understanding. Try saying something like, "So, if I understand correctly, you're feeling frustrated because…" This gives the speaker a chance to clarify if you misunderstood.

  • Deferring Judgment: Avoid immediately offering unsolicited advice or interjecting your own opinions. Your goal is to understand their perspective, not to judge or solve their problem (unless they specifically ask for your input).

Example in action: Imagine a friend tells you, "I'm so stressed about this work project." Instead of immediately jumping in with, "Oh, I know how you feel! Just do X, Y, and Z," try active listening: "Wow, that sounds like a lot. Tell me more about what's making it stressful."

2. Empathy: Walking in Their Shoes

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It’s about putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world from their perspective. This isn't the same as sympathy, which involves feeling pity or sorrow for someone. Empathy goes deeper.

Cultivating empathy can transform your relationships. It helps you:

  • Connect on a Deeper Level: When you show genuine empathy, people feel validated and understood.

  • De-escalate Conflict: Understanding the other person's perspective can help you navigate disagreements more calmly and constructively.

  • Build Trust: Showing empathy signals that you care about the other person's feelings and experiences.

How to practice empathy:

  • Listen with an open mind: Try to set aside your own biases and assumptions.

  • Ask clarifying questions: This helps you understand the situation from the other person's point of view. "How did that make you feel?" or "What was the hardest part?" are excellent examples.

  • Acknowledge their feelings: Use phrases like "It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed," or "That must have been really frustrating." Even if you don't fully understand their situation, acknowledging their feelings can make a big difference.

Bringing it all together:

By incorporating active listening and empathy into your everyday interactions, you can significantly improve your communication and build stronger, more meaningful relationships. Start small. Choose one technique to focus on during your next conversation. You might be surprised at how a little shift in perspective can make a world of difference!

Restoring Hope Counseling has multiple Therapists on staff with some who are able to take insurance, and some who are interns and provisionally licensed staff, who can provide counseling at a discounted rate. They all provide in Person or Telehealth sessions. Visit our “Meet our Team” page or contact us for further information to help you find the person who is the best fit for you.

Featured
Counseling Skills to Use in Everyday Life: Enhancing Communication and Relationships
Counseling Skills to Use in Everyday Life: Enhancing Communication and Relationships

Ever wished you could navigate those tricky conversations with family, friends, or colleagues with a little more ease and understanding? You don't need a psychology degree to improve your communication and build stronger relationships. Believe it or not, many of the core techniques used by counselors can be incredibly valuable in everyday life.

Empowerment Through Storytelling: Finding Strength and Healing in Our Narratives
Empowerment Through Storytelling: Finding Strength and Healing in Our Narratives

In a world that often silences voices, storytelling emerges as an act of defiance and empowerment. Through our narratives, we reclaim agency over our lives, embrace our truths, and foster connection. The therapeutic power of storytelling transcends the confines of traditional counseling; it nourishes both individual healing and communal strength, particularly among marginalized identities.

5 Ways to Support Your Teen
5 Ways to Support Your Teen

As a parent, it is important to acknowledge the many transitions occurring in your adolescent’s life. Whether they are entering middle school or high school, teens are now facing many social dilemmas where they tend to be more aware of their looks, social status, school performance, and relationships.

Your teen may be facing these challenges even as they explore different roles in determining their identity and place in the world. All these changes can lead to them experiencing confusion and discomfort.

What does Anxiety look like?
What does Anxiety look like?

It's normal to feel anxious from time to time, especially if your life is stressful. However, excessive, ongoing anxiety and worry that are tough to control and interfere with daily activities may signify generalized anxiety disorder.

Journaling for Mental Health
Journaling for Mental Health

Journaling is a healthy coping strategy that can help reduce mental stress and anxiety, coping with major depressive disorder, and manage symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. The process of journaling is a therapeutic tool that can be practiced at home and at a convenient time, with just the need of a journal and pencil. When we have an overwhelming number of thoughts, good or bad, it can be helpful to write them out and choose what to focus on.

Worth
Worth

“I am worthy. “

Some days I can believe these words to be true, but other times it feels like a relentless battle and an unnecessary headache. Am I worthy? How do I define my worthiness? Is it in the way I look? What I am to do? How others see me? Asking myself these questions has made me realize that I may not fully understand what worthy is, or what it is I am hoping I am worthy of.

Setting Goals to Help you Thrive in 2025
Setting Goals to Help you Thrive in 2025

How can you set goals to help you Thrive in 2025? This has been quite a year. A year that followed an incredibly taxing and stressful year. But we have made it. We have made it to another year, and are ready to conquer the next one. But not just survive it, THRIVE in it.

As I think about what it means to Thrive in 2025, I have spent time thinking about goals that I have, things that I want to accomplish, for myself and for Restoring Hope.

Dealing With the Busyness and Chaos of the Holidays
Dealing With the Busyness and Chaos of the Holidays

It’s that time of year again, the air is cooler, with sweater weather becoming more of a norm. Everyone is wearing their beanies and jackets; it all seems to fit perfectly with Christmas right around the corner. It’s a great time of seeing family, spending time with friends, eating sweets, and looking at Christmas Lights. But not everyone feels the same way about the Holidays.

For some people, this time of year can be the worst or most stressful time of the whole year.

Surviving the Holidays
Surviving the Holidays

It is that time of the year again where the expectation is to be full of cheer, joy, and happiness but the reality is stressful, overwhelming, and exhausting. With holidays approaching there is all sorts of pressure and expectations (whether placed on you by yourself or those around you) and it can be difficult to manage.

The first thing I want to emphasize to you is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are so many people who are not feeling the holiday spirit but feel guilt or shame in expressing that.

Navigating Grief through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: 5 Tips for Healing
Navigating Grief through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: 5 Tips for Healing

Grief is a deeply personal experience, and while there is no "right" way to grieve, many people seek out support in navigating the overwhelming emotions that come with loss. One such approach is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) a powerful psychological framework that can help individuals face the pain of grief while maintaining a sense of hope and meaning.

In this post, we’ll explore what ACT is, how it can support those who are grieving, and offer five practical tips for applying ACT principles to your own grief journey.

 

How to be an ally supporting Transgender and Nonbinary
How to be an ally supporting Transgender and Nonbinary

The first step in becoming a better ally to the transgender and nonbinary is to learn more. There are many things you may not know, and you will probably make some mistakes along the way. It is crucial to understand that it is okay to make mistakes along the way as long as we learn from them. To be an ally is to put in some of the work on your own. It is not the responsibility of the LGBTQ+ community to educate you. You must take accountability and put in work/research.

We are all Craving Something
We are all Craving Something

As a therapist, I work with all types of people, teens, men, women, and couples, I have discovered there is one main thing we all have in common.

Every single person who exists or has existed at one point or another has one desire that at is at the core of who they are. It doesn’t matter how they grew up, what they experienced, how privileged they were, what race they are, or what gender. There is one thing that everyone desires.

How Gratitude Improves Mental and Physical Health
How Gratitude Improves Mental and Physical Health

In America, we often think about gratitude more as the holidays approach, but research reveals that gratitude improves all aspects of our health: physically, socially, and psychologically. I have read numerous articles that provide the benefits of being grateful. Personally, I was intrigued to try to add gratitude into the daily routines. The overall impact on my life was remarkable.

How to Have a Healthy Relationship with Social Media
How to Have a Healthy Relationship with Social Media

Have you ever considered how social media affects your mental health?

Social media has become a large part of our lives; we may not realize how much time we spend on social media. Some studies found social media to positively impact people’s lives, while others warned against the possible connection between social media and depression or anxiety.

Understanding the Spectrum: Narcissistic Tendencies vs. Narcissism
Understanding the Spectrum: Narcissistic Tendencies vs. Narcissism

In today’s world, the term “narcissism” is often tossed around in casual conversations, sometimes labeling individuals with an overly inflated sense of self. However, it’s essential to distinguish between narcissistic tendencies and clinical narcissism. This distinction can illuminate our understanding of human behavior and help us recognize that everyone can exhibit narcissistic traits without being a full-blown narcissist.

Self-Love Habits
Self-Love Habits

Self-love is appreciating who you are, accepting that person, and knowing you are loved by yourself. This is easier said than done in a world of self-doubt, but creating healthy habits can increase sense of self-worth and encourage healthy relationships. 

Surviving Uncertainty
Surviving Uncertainty

If there is one thing that I think everyone can agree on at the moment it is that we are living through uncertain times. Between the craziness of what is currently going on and the uncertainty of what is going to happen, we are all way more vulnerable to stress, intense emotions, and other unpleasant mental health consequences. So how do we cope with this? How do we prevent ourselves from falling victim to this unpredictability?

The Perfectionism Trap
The Perfectionism Trap

In a world that often celebrates flawless achievements and idealized images, it’s easy to fall into the trap of perfectionism. The pursuit of perfection may seem like a standard goal, but it often comes at a high cost to our mental and emotional well-being. Instead of bringing satisfaction, perfectionism can lead to stress, anxiety, and a constant feeling of never being "good enough." Perfectionism is the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, driven by an internal critic that demands nothing less than perfection in every aspect of life. Whether it’s in work, relationships, or personal appearance, this mindset creates an unyielding standard that’s nearly impossible to meet. The result is often chronic stress, anxiety, and a fear of failure that can prevent us from taking risks or trying new things. However, perfectionism can also lead to procrastination, as the fear of not getting it "just right" can be paralyzing.

Am I Burned Out?
Am I Burned Out?

Life can move at a fast pace and you may feel no matter how hard you try, there is always something left on the to-do list. Burnout has become a silent plague running rampant among the lives of countless people. But what exactly is burnout, and how can you identify the signs to stop the cycle of exhaustion?

5 Steps to Setting Boundaries
5 Steps to Setting Boundaries

From your significant other to your mother, relationships are complicated. This is not to say that relationships aren’t worth it. Though, sometimes it may feel that way. Sometimes you may feel the urge to cut ties because you’re sick of feeling hurt or tired of fighting. At the end of the day, the choice is yours. However, it may be worth exploring the concept of boundaries before burning any bridges

Dialectical Thinking: Embrace Opposing Thoughts
Dialectical Thinking: Embrace Opposing Thoughts

Our bodies biologically exist to be most efficient for survival. Our brains create schema- or mental frameworks based on our lived experience- to most efficiently process new things and fuel our thoughts and actions. If you’ve been fired in the past over a small mistake, your brain may create anxiety around every mistake at your next job. If you’ve been cheated on while a partner was distant, your brain may overanalyze your next partner’s presence in your relationship. Schemas are helpful when we need to survive, like when our brain shortcuts to avoid a dish that's fresh from the oven, but life is not always as simple as that.

Am I Being Gaslit? What Can I Do?
Am I Being Gaslit? What Can I Do?

The word “gaslighting” is everywhere. In fact, it was Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year in 2022. But depending on whom you talk to, or what you’ve seen on Twitter (X), Instagram, or TikTok, it can be hard to really understand exactly what it is and what it looks like.

Finding Work-Life Balance
Finding Work-Life Balance

Do you often find yourself struggling to keep up with the demands of both your work and personal life? Does it feel like there are never enough hours in the day to complete everything on your plate? If so, you’re not alone. Achieving work-life balance is a common challenge many of us face. The good news is finding a work-life balance is possible and obtainable.

7 Things Self-Care Isn’t (and 7 things it is)
7 Things Self-Care Isn’t (and 7 things it is)

People often either love or hate the concept of self-care, or at least the word itself. Maybe you find comfort and restoration in your self-care practices. But a lot of us struggle with what it looks like for ourselves or equate “self-care” with expensive candles and products or social media wellness trends, but there’s so much more to it.

Grief Demands a Witness
Grief Demands a Witness

Grief is such a hard concept. Like what does it mean, how does it work, can I check off some boxes and work my way through it quickly?

A definition from Wikipedia has it defined as- Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important, particularly to the loss of someone or some living thing that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed.

Unraveling the Mystery of Anxiety: 3 Quick Tips to Help with Anxiety
Unraveling the Mystery of Anxiety: 3 Quick Tips to Help with Anxiety

Are you often feeling dread or unease? Do you find that your hands are sweating, your heart is racing, or your stomach is constantly in knots? What if I told you these, my friend, are known to be normal symptoms of anxiety? Anxiety is a feeling that arises when your body’s response to danger is activated. You might experience this when thinking about a test or being in a crowded room. What is ironic is that anxiety can manifest in various ways for different people. While it is commonly experienced, it doesn’t have to dominate your life. I want to help you alleviate your pain, calm your anxious mind, and be free from anxiety that interferes with your day-to-day life. Believe it or not, there are many tools within your reach to help relieve anxiety. You just need guidance on how to get there. There is one simple rule for managing anxiety: Change the Channel

There has been a time or two where you have once said “I dont want to watch this” or “I dont want to hear that”. You have the power to say that to anxiety too.

Accelerated Resolution Therapy: A Revolutionary Approach to Healing Trauma
Accelerated Resolution Therapy: A Revolutionary Approach to Healing Trauma

Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) is a relatively new form of psychotherapy that aims to quickly and effectively alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories. Unlike traditional talk therapies, which may take months or even years to yield significant results, ART is designed to produce rapid relief in as few as one to five sessions. At the core of ART lies the belief that traumatic memories are stored in the brain in a way that maintains their emotional intensity, often leading to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts. By engaging in a structured process of visualization and bilateral stimulation, ART seeks to reprogram the way these memories are stored, allowing individuals to process them more adaptively.

Be Kind To Yourself
Be Kind To Yourself

Giving yourself grace involves treating yourself with kindness, compassion, and understanding, especially during times of difficulty or failure. It's about recognizing that everyone makes mistakes, experiences setbacks, and has imperfections, but that these do not diminish your worth.

Purpose of Questions in Therapy
Purpose of Questions in Therapy

Therapy is a structured and confidential process designed to help individuals address personal challenges, explore emotions, and work towards positive change. Here's what you need to know about therapy and privacy:

You might ask yourself, what is the purpose of asking certain questions in therapy? Therapists ask questions to gain a deeper understanding of your concerns, history, relationships, and goals.

This information helps them provide personalized guidance and support tailored to your needs.

Therapists are trained to maintain professional boundaries and respect your privacy. They will not ask intrusive or inappropriate questions without a valid therapeutic reason. If you feel uncomfortable with any question, you can express that to your therapist.

There are no Taboos in Mental Health!
There are no Taboos in Mental Health!

Taboos in mental health refer to societal stigmas, misconceptions, or cultural norms that discourage open discussion, acknowledgment, or acceptance of mental health issues. These taboos can contribute to feelings of shame, isolation, and reluctance to seek help among individuals experiencing mental health challenges. Reducing these feelings associated with mental health taboos requires a multi-faceted approach that addresses societal attitudes, promotes awareness and education, and fosters supportive environments.

Los tabúes en salud mental se refieren a estigmas sociales, conceptos erróneos o normas culturales que desalientan el debate abierto, el reconocimiento o la aceptación de los problemas de salud mental. Estos tabúes pueden contribuir a sentimientos de vergüenza, aislamiento y renuencia a buscar ayuda entre las personas que experimentan problemas de salud mental. Reducir estos sentimientos asociados con los tabúes de salud mental requiere un enfoque multifacético que aborde las actitudes sociales, promueva la conciencia y la educación y fomente entornos de apoyo.

Guest User
Next

Empowerment Through Storytelling: Finding Strength and Healing in Our Narratives