Navigating Grief through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: 5 Tips for Healing

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Written By Desiree Castenada

Written by Mae Marshall, LPC-Associate

Grief is a deeply personal experience, and while there is no "right" way to grieve, many people seek out support in navigating the overwhelming emotions that come with loss. One such approach is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) a powerful psychological framework that can help individuals face the pain of grief while maintaining a sense of hope and meaning.

In this post, we’ll explore what ACT is, how it can support those who are grieving, and offer five practical tips for applying ACT principles to your own grief journey.

What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)?

Developed by Steven Hayes in the 1980s, ACT is a type of cognitive-behavioral therapy that emphasizes psychological flexibility the ability to be open to difficult emotions, thoughts, and experiences while continuing to live in a way that is consistent with your values. Rather than trying to eliminate pain or negative emotions (as is common in many therapeutic models), ACT teaches individuals to accept these feelings as a natural part of life, while also encouraging them to commit to actions that align with their deepest values and long-term goals.

ACT is based on six core processes:

1. Cognitive Defusion

Learning to detach from unhelpful thoughts and seeing them as just thoughts, not absolute truths.

2. Acceptance

Allowing difficult emotions to exist without trying to suppress or avoid them.

3. Present Moment Awareness

Cultivating mindfulness and being fully present with what’s happening now.

4. Self-as-Context

Recognizing that you are not defined by your thoughts or feelings, but are the observer of those experiences.

5. Values Clarification

Identifying what truly matters to you, especially during challenging times.

6. Committed Action

Taking purposeful steps that align with your values, even in the face of emotional pain.

When it comes to grief, ACT offers a unique approach: instead of pushing away or ignoring the pain, ACT encourages individuals to face grief directly while staying connected to the things that give life meaning and purpose.

5 Tips for Coping with Grief Using ACT Principles:

Grief is a complex and unpredictable emotional journey. It’s important to allow yourself space to grieve while also maintaining a sense of hope and agency. Here are five ACT-based strategies to help you navigate the grieving process:

1. Practice Acceptance, Not Avoidance:

Grief often brings up a range of painful emotions—sadness, anger, guilt, or even numbness. Rather than fighting or avoiding these feelings, ACT encourages you to accept them as part of your human experience. You don’t need to like or want your grief, but you can learn to make space for it. By accepting that grief will come and go, you prevent yourself from getting stuck in trying to avoid or control your emotions.

Tip: When feelings of grief arise, try saying to yourself, "This is painful, but it’s a part of me right now. It will pass." This mindset can help you stay present with your emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them.

2. Separate Yourself from Your Grief

One of the key concepts in ACT is **cognitive defusion**, which involves distancing yourself from your thoughts and emotions. While grief can feel consuming, it’s important to recognize that you are not your grief—grief is something you experience, but it doesn't define who you are.

Tip: When you're consumed by negative thoughts about your loss, practice defusion by saying, "I am having the thought that I will never be happy again" instead of "I will never be happy again." This subtle shift can help you realize that thoughts, even painful ones, don’t have to control your actions or your sense of self.

3. Stay Connected to Your Values

In times of loss, it’s easy to feel adrift or disconnected from life’s purpose. ACT helps you reconnect with your values—the things that matter most to you, even amid grief. Whether it’s family, creativity, community, or something else, identifying and acting in alignment with your values can help you find meaning in the midst of sorrow.

Tip: Reflect on what your loved one meant to you and how their life or memory reflects your values. For example, if they valued kindness, consider how you can carry that forward in your actions, even as you mourn.

 4. Engage in Mindful Presence

Grief often brings up a flood of past memories or anxious thoughts about the future. Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment, which is essential for emotional healing. Mindfulness encourages you to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, allowing them to come and go without being overwhelmed by them.

Tip: When grief feels particularly intense, pause for a moment and take a few deep breaths. Focus on the physical sensations in your body, such as the feeling of your feet on the ground or the breath entering and leaving your lungs. This can help you step out of overwhelming emotions and reconnect with the present.

5. Take Small, Committed Actions

While grief can make it hard to think about the future, one of the most powerful aspects of ACT is its focus on committed action. Even during grief, you can take small steps toward things that are important to you, whether it's caring for your physical health, connecting with others, or pursuing a passion.

Tip: Set small, manageable goals that align with your values. For example, if your loved one values connection, you might commit to reaching out to a friend or family member for support. These actions, though small, can bring a sense of purpose and momentum during a time when everything may feel uncertain.

Grief is a journey that no one should have to face alone. By practicing acceptance, mindfulness, diffusion, and committed action, you can move through grief in a way that fosters resilience, compassion, and ultimately, healing. Remember, you don’t have to overcome grief; rather, you can learn to live with it and integrate it into a life that still holds meaning and purpose.

Restoring Hope Counseling has multiple Therapists on staff with some who are able to take insurance, and some who are interns and provisionally licensed staff, who can provide counseling at a discounted rate. They all provide in Person or Telehealth sessions. Visit our “Meet our Team” page or contact us for further information to help you find the person who is the best fit for you.

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Navigating Grief through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: 5 Tips for Healing
Self-Love, self-compassion, kindness to yourself
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Grief is a deeply personal experience, and while there is no "right" way to grieve, many people seek out support in navigating the overwhelming emotions that come with loss. One such approach is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) a powerful psychological framework that can help individuals face the pain of grief while maintaining a sense of hope and meaning.

In this post, we’ll explore what ACT is, how it can support those who are grieving, and offer five practical tips for applying ACT principles to your own grief journey.

 

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How to be an ally supporting Transgender and Nonbinary